H a p p y?

Happiness

She kicked the bottle in the corner. I chased it just so that I can kick it again.

We kicked it one by one on our way till the bottle finally shattered. It was dark. I could see a street light flicker at a distance.
We were worn-out, it was a momentous day. She came up and hugged me.
We sat down on the first bench we could find.

“What do you want?” she asked.
I felt a rush of solemnity way out nowhere. Her head down, eyes up.
“Nothing much, to be happy, that’s it” I said
not knowing if that is what she wanted to hear
It was not new for me, the question  anticipated a particular answer. With everyone; sometimes even when we are aware of the reality, we look for instances and moments that can soothe us.
We look for that person who can make us alright. The unrealistic thought of things being okay when they are not.   The not so true statements that can serene us.
Just sometimes we don’t want the truth. Because sometimes truth simply doesn't help.
I wondered if this was that moment for her.

“What makes you happy?” the voice deeper, inquisitorial.
I looked above in the sky. I had never answered that question to anybody. Not to myself either.
She noticed; nudged; I ignored. I felt something was not just veracious about the question.
I never knew what made me happy, still did not. Wondered why nothing provoked this thought.
Of course I’ve felt happiness. Every one has.The magnitude of which being different for different people, depending upon their connotation of happiness.   
“Does this love make you happy?”  She said with her voice feeble; almost about to crack.
I looked at the sky above, looking for a familiar constellation or a star.
I was not even able to find an apt answer for the first question and she dragged love in between the conversation.
I figured where it was going, however I ignored and emphasized on the first question of what makes me happy.
 I realized happiness has always been there. Always is. It is waiting to be received.
Happiness lies in our own backyard, but can be veiled by the ashes of sorrows.
Like they say “Happiness is health and a short memory”.
It lies in small incidents which we encounter every day.  The look from your daughter, the sweet little kiss from you loved ones, the concern of your mother, a day out with friends, sharing a drink or a smoke.
When you and your family are not fighting for everything in life, when every breath u take is not challenge. When you can appreciate all that you have in your life. It is never that bad. The brighter side is happiness.
It can never be found in if you look it anywhere else other than inside yourself.
Even God cannot provide with it.
You are happy when you decide to be. When you follow your heart. When you do even the smallest and the stupidest of actions that gives you joy. When there is no shame, no worries, not logic (if that works).
It will follow. Give it a shot.